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Committment mumbo jumbo

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Okay, so technically today is now the 17th since it’s 12:55am…. but really, this counts as my post for the 16th since I haven’t gone to bed yet.

(and now I realize that I hardly ever sleep from one day into the next, I usually go to bed and wake up all in the same day…. not good)

ANYWAY, not much to report today other than my sneaky sister in law coaxed me back to FB today with the guise of wanting my opinion on something. πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜† Have to say I’m glad because I was missing my peeps!!! Doing a week off is SO MUCH HARDER than the 40 days for Lent last year. I remember then that the first week was the hardest, and after that it was cake.

I have really been feeling more and more like I know the direction I’m supposed to go as a mom/wife/person in the next year…. and truthfully, I can’t WAIT for this year of volunteering to be over so I can put all my energy into refocusing. As I was asked today “why do you have to be such a black and white person?”…… and truly, it’s just in me to be that way. Always have been. Even in this. I’m not good at focusing on mulitple things at once, and I keep feeling the tug to pull my focus from one area and realign it on another. More homebased.

I have a friend who I’ve been watching lately when I’m hanging out with her at her house and I keep thinking “she totally is awesome at this” and I think about how much I want to be like that. So then I started looking at how we are different. I have outside committments. She doesn’t. Hers is soley her family and being excellent at taking care of it.

I need to realign my committments. And I can’t wait until I finish out one committment, and exchange it for something that I feel God is personally leading me to…….

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2 responses »

  1. It is so great to have vision, to see where you want to be heading and have a plan to get there. Sounds like that’s where you are! Much to look forward to! I remember when I made that same transition in my life and cut out ALL of my outside commitments for an entire year, it was so worth it. Now I have only a couple, and only what adds to my family and doesn’t take away. So peaceful πŸ™‚

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  2. I know how that feels. And I wouldn’t necessarily even put a label on it like “black and white” cause it gives it a negative vibe. It’s true though, some people are good at multiple commitments, some do better when they focus on one at a time. I tell tanner all the time that I do my best work when I can give 110% to one thing at a a time. When I have to split my focus in several different directions then the quality of my effort goes down. Then it looks more like I’m giving 20% effort here, 10% over here, 50% on this, and only 30% on another. And it’s like EVERYTHING suffers. But I struggle cause I see people like my sister in law, who barely has a moment to sit because she has 3 kids, all in multiple sports EACH, she works outside the home, has church events to go to, AND still has time for a social life. And she breezes through it all like a pro cause that’s just the SHE is. I can try and try, but that’s just not me. I just wish I didn’t feel like that’s who the world WANTS me to be, ya know. So I’m back to my favorite word….balance. Trying to figure out a balance, if there even is one, between being who the world wants me to be and the person God made me to be. Work in progress. πŸ˜‰

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