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Thanksgiving Mourning

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No, that’s not a typo.

I know, I know…. today is supposed to be a day of THANKSGIVING, not mourning of anything. But let me explain how mourning the loss of some things can make so thankful for things as they are right now.

When I think back on Thanksgivings past, I remember great memories of being at my Granny’s house with our entire family around. I do remember one year my step dad convinced us all to go out to eat because that is what his family did. ONE YEAR. We only did it one year. Seriously, who wants to sit and order food in a restaurant on Thanksgiving?! Even still, it’s a memory of family together.

There are people who were part of my family growing up who are no longere there. Divorce has wreaked havoc on my Thanksgiving memories.

I miss my sister, because she has chosen a life that has seperated her from her family and my heart breaks for her. I miss her and love her. I don’t know what she is doing today.

I miss my Grandpa. I miss smelling his Old Spice. I miss his big rough hands and the songs he would sing. He is with his vegetarian wife on Thanksgiving, and all I can think is “I hope she made a turkey!” 😆

I miss my Aunt…. who was just the same to me as my Uncle. I never understand why people can divorce and then think you have to sever all family ties. You are still loved, and still in all the important memories.

I miss my Step-dad. He used to say this querky prayer before a meal “Come Lord Jesus be our guest, let this food to us be blessed. Amen” and that was that. 😆 I wanted to call him today, just because, but I can’t find his number.

My Granny’s house is quiet today. Everyone has gone their own direction and Holiday Traditions just aren’t what they used to be.

So, while I could be sad today because I’m missing out on the normal holiday family traditions…. I’m not. Because I’m not missing out. Nothing is the same as it was when I was growing up. The habits have changed, the people have changed, some are missing and never returning.

And that leaves me thankful for the chance to create our own lasting family holiday traditions that can mean so much more to me now. Instead of being sad that I’m not at home celebrating in old familiar ways, I am thankful for my little family that is here right now, all warm and cozy together, and know that none of us is ever going anywhere…. and it won’t be tainted by me wishing I was somewhere else or thinking I’m missing out.

Yes, my heart mourns for the time when our family was whole when I was growing up and even still, I wish they were all gathering together without me…. even though I know I would miss it. But knowing it’s not there anymore, leaves me able to love and cherish what I have now so much more.

I hope this doesn’t sound like a downer thanksgiving post….. but I find myself caught in the bittersweet remembrances of Thanksgiving past with family I will always miss and love, the reality of what it is now, and the awesome blessing I have in my own family and the chance to start a new Family Legacy.

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2 responses »

  1. Love you sister! You’re such a good mama to those boys! Have a great Thanksgiving! Thanks for the post… It’s hard trying to transition into making new family traditions and fun times for our kids to remember… I think that’s just a part of growing up… Bittersweet like you said:)

    Reply
  2. i found myself really missing my grandpa yesterday & i guess, elderly folks altogether. I’ve been talking lately about ‘rent-a-granny’ for sitting but i think i’d like to adopt ’em for the holidays too :o)

    Reply

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