Death is knocking at someone’s door in my family. At this very moment I don’t know if he is even still alive, but I’m praying without ceasing, even as I type this that God will grant us a miracle. My thoughts drift towards the memories I have of him, memories that seem like wasted opportunities to share with him God’s love for him. I think of the many times I was encouraged to call him, because he was asking about me and my family, but I was too busy or thought he wouldn’t miss a phone call from me…. someone who wasn’t a part of his immediate family. I was shocked at my reactive emotions from this phone call bearing bad news. Mostly because I instantly knew I had not done what we are all called to do. I didn’t share something life giving to someone I loved as a part of our family. Now my prayer is that I can have that millionth chance to do that, that he can have a chance to accept it. How can I not know if he knows? As a lover of Jesus that should be my first priority, but I have become complacent in my walk, thinking that people will just instinctively know, or even sometimes thinking that God will use someone else if I don’t do it.
We each have a responsibility to share, in our lifestyle and through our words. Words I never shared, and a lifestyle I don’t think he got to see enough of. I want to live a life that shows instantly who I belong to and what I live for so that if there is a time words can’t be shared, I still know I’ve shown the love of God through who I am and how I love.
These lessons are so expensive.