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Just a quickie…

Posted on

…..with the long version to follow later.

Three Questions:

Do you apologize when you know you’ve been wrong evenΒ though you know it won’t be received well, if at all?

If you’re still holding a grudge, does that mean you haven’t really forgiven?

Does it really matter if someone else forgives you?

I’ll check back later. πŸ˜‰ THANKS!


13 responses »

  1. It might be helpful to know that ALL TIES are completely broken and neither party wants to re-tie them. It’s better that way. Just an important piece of info to consider. πŸ˜‰

  2. I am one of those people who apologize and hope that it is recieved well.

    If I am holding a grudge, I am sure i haven’t forgiven. Standoffish tho for a while..

    It matters to me if they forgive me, but sometimes they don’t..i hate when that happens.

    Missing you!

  3. I always apologize, since doubt we can really know how it will be receive. Sometimes it is better to wait until the other person is ready to listen to you.

    If you are holding a grudge then ot means you haven’t forgiven the other person. Holding a grudge is of course time wasted on feeling angry. The quicker you get past it the sooner you will feel better.

    I matters because it means the other person has moved on, and so should you. Since you can only control how you feel, than even if they don’t forgive, you still need to move with your life.

  4. if when i’m not seeking restoration, i need to forgive. and i need to apologize for my own wrongdoing. whether or not the other person chooses to forgive isn’t up to me. but i do need to repent — before God and the one i hurt with my sin.

    forgiveness is a choice, a daily process, sometimes a moment-by-moment process. i think a grudge (for me anyway) would signal lack of deep-down forgiveness.

    true forgiveness only comes when i can genuinely say from my heart that i no longer want to see that person hurt for what they did to me.

    it takes a l-o-n-g time for me to get there with things that have really wounded me.

  5. 1. Nowhere NEAR as often as i could or should πŸ™‚
    2.Abso-freakin-lutely. Our ego’s pride is what is holding onto a grudge ‘on ‘our’ behalf – we might think we have ‘forgiven’ someone and maybe we want to in our heart… but if we carry a grudge then we have not done so completely and a(unnecessary) part of us still has not – cut that part from you so that it does not separate you from Him come the day.
    What Ed says is spot on! πŸ™‚
    3. If they are honest in their forgiveness then it matters to you. More importantly it matters to them.

    Please remember The Lord’s Prayer (Matt Ch 6)…
    ‘Forgive us our debts – as we forgive our debtors…’

    If we don’t truly forgive we take the risk of Him doing the same to us. To be ‘worthy’ of forgiveness we must learn forgiveness. if we do not show it to others genuinely we have not learned it fully yet.

    You cannot force someone else to forgive you – but you can make greater effort to forgive them…like if you carry a grudge for example. πŸ™‚

    A grudge can be like a scar – it is a continual reminder of a deep wound.. if we are ever to be made perfect we need to not cosmetically cover the scar, but to let it heal completely… let it go from within us fully – leaving no trace.



    Thank you for your answers here. I loved each and every one. I am processing through some stuff right now where I was very clearly in the wrong in a moment of anger and hurt. I know I need to apologize, I WANT to apologize, but my fear is that it won’t be received well, if at all. πŸ˜• And truth be told, I am holding 10 years worth of grudges right now, which admittedly, is holding me back a bit as well. I am planning on doing a video post on this, since if I were to type it out, it’d be a LOOOOONG one, and I talk much faster. πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜† Anyway, I just wanted some feedback and encouragement really, to do what I already know I should. *sigh* I know I should, and I am afraid too. πŸ˜•

    Thanks friends!

  7. i love you for your openness and vulnerability, raisin bran.

  8. watching you has been a great example friend. πŸ˜‰

  9. I hope you heard my groan when I read this….

    and yes I know I am late getting here as always.

    I think you should share the whole story before you get advice.

    Sadly, I think some people just are not worth the effort you(general) put into them.

    I hope you do this for you and not for her and that it removes your guilt and nothing else. I know that sounds mean-hearted but truly if I were you (which I know you are NOT!) I’d leave it alone. Knowing you’re only going to come out more hurt.


  10. I hear you….. I do. And I’m not at all surprised by your answer. πŸ˜‰

    I don’t think I want to share the DETAILS of the issue at hand because you know….other people who know me and this person can read it and I wouldn’t want to call attention to this person. Plus, the details aren’t as important as my end of it. y/k?

    I love you for your words though. πŸ˜‰ ♥

  11. my end of it, meaning: my fault in it. πŸ˜‰

  12. Hey Hun, i know it is never ‘easy’ and i am NOT telling you what YOU should do…

    But As Christians we are told to confess our sins to one another, and to forgive that we be forgiven.

    Not so much for our own benefit ( although that alone can be HUGE) πŸ™‚ but for the benefit of those we are then an example to, to encourage all to do as he did – as we then must do.
    So that we spread His Actions, Thought, Word into the world.

    In our deed and in who we become as a result.

    We are not to engage in gossip or telling lies or putting our side of the tale to others, but we can still speak openly of our role in a situation and earnestly seek forgiveness from Him for the same.

    The Bible does NOT say we must blog about it though πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚ so i guess that’s a free choice

    Hoping for your Peace Muffin πŸ™‚


  13. Love, thank you for your words. πŸ˜‰

    I do NOT intend to blog about this in depth, at all. I am fine telling my fault with it, but I would never bring to light someone else’s part in it. That is not what I want advice on. I have LITERALLY lost sleep over my part in this, guilty conscience. I do not have a heart that likes to hurt feelings, and in this matter I believe I did. I’m not proud of my words/actions at all. 😦 I’ll email you. πŸ˜‰


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