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Organized Chaos

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It’s no secret to anyone who knows me that I am NOT a neat person. I may have some OCD tendencies, but NONE of them are pertaining to keeping things in order or super clean. You’d think I liked things this way. I don’t. I hate it actually, but something in me rebels against it. And I can totally live in a chaotic environment. It doesn’t make me super happy, but it doesn’t bug me either. The only reason I hate it is because I know it bothers OTHER people. Like my husband. And really, there are days I think “seriously? you call yourself a housewife and stay at home mom?! get it together!!” 😯 It’s just something I wish I was good at.

Another thing will not be a surprise to anyone who knows me is that I am a very black and white person. I’ve gotten a lot of crap over this from people, but really, I’m done apologizing for it. It’s just how I am. Deal with it or go away. πŸ˜† Anyway, part of the reason I’m not a more organized person is this whole black/white issue. If it can’t STAY perfect, I don’t want to do it. And that is why I don’t. πŸ˜† Seriously. ALSO, I have a hard time focusing. I swear I have ADHD. 😯 I don’t multi-task unless it is talking on the phone while eating ice cream and watching t.v. HAHA! Seriously. Annoys the crap out of Jake. heehee

I’ve been noticing the last few months that in order for me to really FOCUS on something, I need to eliminate other things that easily consume me. Like talking on the phone, the tv, or my computer. I will frequently not answer my phone until I know who it is…..which means LEAVE A MESSAGE. And I might not call back right away if I’m focused on something else. There are days we leave the tv off completely because it’s so distracting for me and the boys. Yes those days are usually LOUD days but I’d rather them be playing loudly than sitting like lumps on logs in front of the tv. Then there are times when I need to turn off my computer so I can focus on other things….. like my house. I find that I take better care of stuff around here when I’m not plugged in. I need to schedule this time in, or else I won’t do it. And remember, I’m totally black and white so I can’t easily find a middle ground. I’m not wired for it. Or trained for it. Whatever. It’s just not something I am able to do at this point.

So, this week is my scheduled time off. Wish me luck. πŸ˜† I’ll be back Friday or Saturday. Or Sunday. Whatever. πŸ˜†


9 responses »

  1. The world seems to keep moving at an ever increasing pace. Too many things to do in too little time makes focusing on just one thing very hard. I can’t imagine what it will be like when DAO grow up.

    I have burnt a lot of food, drank a lot of cold tea (that was supposed to be hot) because I was distracted. I have creaked open an egg then threw the egg in the garbage and shells on the frying pan.

    Have a great week off.

  2. I can’t live in chaos, but I SO understand about focusing on one thing. With the pain/meds/no sleep thing focusing has become so much more important to my brain! But part of it is intentional for me too… I don’t read blogs or return emails while watching tv… I figure if someone took the time to write in their blog, the least I can do is give it my full attention. Same with email.

    Twitter is a different entity altogether… that I multi-task with.

    But when when someone calls, my tv goes on mute or goes off. Undivided attention is a way of letting people know they’re important to me. I think giving your boys undivided attention this week is a great, loving, mom thing to do.

  3. I can so relate to alot that you talk about in this post. I am also a very black and white person. All or nothing. Many times, i have no middle ground, and alot of times, that sucks for me and those around me. πŸ˜‰ That’s why I can work out for an hour and a half like a mad woman, and then eat half a tube of cookie dough. Or if you were to come over to my house, you might find it emaculantly clean, or it might look like I need the clean sweep team to dump my house upside down and pressure wash it. LOL

    What I have found, is that I can’t change who I am in that way. And you’re right, you have to let it go and stop apologizing for who you are. The people in your life other than your kids and husband obviously that might have an issue with it can just buzz off. It’s that simple. πŸ˜‰

  4. Have a great week. Maybe I’ll see you on the Twitter?

    A girl can hope.

  5. Did you really leave us?


  6. I love your open soul! We would talk fine together! I talk what I think!

  7. Week’s up!

    How did it go?

  8. There’s something i’m majorly missing here (besides you of course πŸ˜‰ )

    Both you and Rachel have basically said – “i ‘can’t change (to what many might see as) a ‘bad habit’ – ALL BY MYSELF!!!”

    Any who don’t like that – buzz off?

    Isn’t the whole point of being a Christian that we don’t change us – God does.

    But usually only when we ask Him and start the process (progress) in motion??

    I’m as guilty as anyone of ‘doing’ things not because it is how i want it but because of what others might think of me for not doing it… but are we not to do it FOR Him – and also because we know – deep down inside – our sacrifice and our suffering is good for us and our relationship in Christ?

    i know none of us is yet perfect – but if we begin to settle for second best here ( just because that’s the way i have been and ‘am’) we won’t ever get to be perfect ‘there’.

    As earthly beings we find excuses to not be as good as we might be – and the ‘evil’ remains unchecked within us – to overcome that, through creation of the ‘new man’ St Paul mentions ( Eph 4:24 and Col 3:10 ), we are to ‘put on’ after discarding our ‘old’ self’ is a necessary step to becoming a true Christian – this is the ‘house’ of the Holy Spirit within us.

    Or have i got it all wrong again?

    love you



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