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The Negotiator

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Dylan was throwing a MONUMENTAL fit this morning. He was sent carried to his room for a timeout and he immediately began throwing things. I came downstairs to finish my grocery list and Jake went up to deal with Dylan. When he got there I heard “Great! There’s a HOLE IN YOUR DOOR!” and then Jake immediately came back downstairs…..too angry to speak. I went upstairs to talk to Dylan and check out this hole in the door. By the way, the hole, is so small you can’t even stick your pinky in it. Nevermind that at our old house Jake put a hole in a door with his ELBOW once. I’m pretty sure in comparison Dylans offense could be overlooked. However, I figured this was a good time to teach him about paying for things you break and helping to fix them. Here is how our conversation played out:

Me: Dylan, you are going to have to help daddy fix this you know.

Dylan: (eyes wide with excitement) OKAY!

::now at this point I am realizing that to him this sounds more like a treat than a punishment::

Me: you are also going to have to do chores around the house to earn money to help PAY to fix the hole in the door.

Dylan: but I already have money in my wallet.

Me: Oh, okay then. You can pay with the money you already have then.

Dylan: But that’s MY money!

Me: well you broke the door and now you need to help pay to fix it. Daddy and I will determine how much it will cost and we will see how much you need to pay.

Dylan: How about half of my money?

Me: I said that mommy and daddy would see, it might be half of your money, it might be more.

Dylan: I could just give you 5 then.

Me: This isn’t a negotiation Dylan.

Dylan: Then I guess I could just give you 6 then.

People, I am telling you that I deserve an Academy Award for keeping a straight face through the entire conversation. I QUICKLY found Jake and locked us in a room and quietly told him the story. We both fell over on the bed laughing hysterically. 😆

The kid cracks me up!


11 responses »

  1. I’ll give you $6.50!!!

    Don’t you love kids!!!

  2. So funny!!!!

    Ok, off topic here, but can I tell you that your burp video is the last thing I watched before going to bed and I dreamed about you ALL NIGHT! You came to visit and we had the best freaking time.

    I hope it was a premonition 🙂

  3. Heidi, I’ll take it! 😆

    Gitz, how AWESOME would that be?!?! That makes me smile! 😀

  4. Sounds kind of like the conversations mama and I have when I want more toys for papa’s big toy box.8O

  5. LOL! Maybe Dylan can teach YOU some things! hehe… ; – P

  6. Kids are funny when they show you how their minds work..the logic, and the insistent negotiating skills that they really don’t have. I have hid many times in my home to laugh at what was just told to me. But don’t laugh in front, or they laugh too, and you seriously lose the battle…yeah I have done that too!

    Love ya Bwan!

  7. “I could just give you 5 then.”

    oh man, he is gonna be such a schmoozer in the next few years!

  8. Maybe he will be an auctioneer when he grows up.
    “can I get a 5? what about a 6?”


  9. That is too cute! Hey there 🙂 Just wanted to say hi and let you know I’m here. Love and miss you XO

  10. That Dylan is a lot smarter than I was as a kid. Remember litigation lawyers make about a $1,000 an hour.

    I get this picture of Dylan, dressed in his little business suit, with glasses on, opening up his lunch box sized brief case, defending Aiden against the “alleged” breaking of a lamp.

  11. did i go to spam? i was sure i commented?? 😳

    ♥ u



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