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My Identity

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Who I am can be described as Jake’s wife.

Dylan, Aidan, and Owen’s mom.

My entire identity is wrapped up in my role asΒ a wife and a mom.

I’m not Brandy the teacher or

Brandy the counselor, or

Brandy the oceanographer (8th grade dream!) or

Brandy the writer.

All things I wanted to be when I was growing up. Have I lost myself along the way? Who am I aside from Brandy the wife and mom?

Sometimes I forget that I love to rollarblade. That I like going to eat late at night. That I like to sleep late–wait, nevermind. I’ll never forget that. πŸ˜‰ Sometimes I forget that I love being around people. I love to be in a crowd and know almost everyone there. I love to be able to say “let’s go do this or that” and leave right then….. not after meals or naps or diaper changes or bathroom runs or diaper bag packing or making sure everyone has sippies with water and combed hair and clean noses and clothes and and and and and….. I could go on and on. (that was one heckuva long sentence there!) I love to take a shower everyday…and even more than that I love to take a shower without toddler eyes peeking in at me. I love to do my hair and makeup without holding a baby at the same time. These are all things I forgot that I love to do. They seem pretty simple, but along the way, I let each one of those things go, and more.

As I lay here in bed tonight, I realize that even though I let all those things go, I gained what I always wanted in the first place. All those things were back up plans that I became focused on because I was certain I’d never get what I really wanted.

Everyday I am a teacher. I teach Dylan how to spell baby and dog, and doctor. I teach him that red and blue make purple. I teach him that if you sound a word out slowly you can learn to read, which he is well on his way towards. πŸ˜€ I teach Aidan how to draw shapes and write letters. I teach him how to be a big brother and say his prayers. He is amazing at saying his prayers. “Fank you dear Jesus for all you’ve done for us and for da fings you have done for us.” πŸ˜†Β  ♥ I love him. I teach Owen to learn to obey by giving him simple intructions just so he will learn by succeeding- and want to do it again and again. I teach him how to walk with shoes on, to climb down the stairs, to be gentle with the dog, to give kisses.

Everytime one of the boys comes to me crying, I am their counselor. Whenever Dylan wants to talk about his wife, I listen. And he does talk about his wife. He wants to know who she is and “when can I marry her?” and “where will we live together?” or “when I marry my wife can I be the boss of OUR kids?” πŸ˜†Β  When Aidan tells me he is scared, I am his counselor. When he wants to talk about his mean big brother, I am there. When he wants to tell me how his feelings hurt or how he misses his granny, I am there. When Owen needs a good cry, I just hold him until he’s done. When he wants to “babble” I am there too. I am even there when he just wants to poke me in the face. I’d say I go far beyond the regular duties of your typical counselor. πŸ˜‰

Now the oceanographer is the tricky one. However, I’d say that Dylan and AIdan consider me the expert on whales and fishies and starfish and sharks. Otherwise they’d quit asking me a hundred times every other day about why a “horse” can live in “da ocean” and why do starfish have so many legs? Or, “why are wales SO BIG?!” Or my favorite, “how did a man live inside of a whale?” (Jonah ring bell?)Β  πŸ˜†Β Β 

I do all of these things everyday simultaneously, times three.Β  My cup runeth over.

So yeah, I’d say I got all my wishes wrapped up in the biggest wish of all….to have a family and be a mom. I’ve got the family I knew I wanted when I was 15. Everyday I am a teacher and a counselor. Only every other day am I an oceanographer.

And today, well today I am a writer.

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.

Psalm 37:4


37 responses »

  1. I have never met you, but I can tell just by reading your blog that your boys are very blessed to have you! This post tugged at my heart a bit because I am very much looking forward to the day when I become a mom. Someday…

  2. you are brandy my friend…

  3. Hey, I commented back to you on my blog.

    Here is a quote that I have posted on my mirror:

    The world would like to change you; There are pressures all around.
    You must decide just who you are, Then firmly hold your ground.
    You have an image of yourself, An ideal sense of you; And to this vision you must always struggle to be true.
    You know what you are good at, And you know where talents lie;
    But if ruled by others, Your uniqueness could pass by.
    Remember, there is much to learn; But all new things are not good.
    Wisdom lies in what you’ve learned And what you have withstood.
    So, be yourself and don’t allow the world to take control.
    -Preserving your identity Is life’s most precious goal.-

  4. Oh, I am on your blogroll, that is so exciting!

  5. Every little detail of your life Brandy is what made you into who you are today..

    Love ya today… so WOW I guess you are into details!!

  6. today on my off day i had to also give up me and be someone diffrent for hours for other people …. it gets old , gets frustrating, get me to a place where i dont like people and just need a dog to take for a walk or play with… i do understand…

    but you will always be the lady who turned my wife hooker with red shoes for a weekend… owe you big for that…

  7. I’m sorry Brandy

    I snorted because I was laughin so hard at Anti’s last sentence.

    hooker heels..:) I wish for an evening like that again when were all together blog chatting again.. huh?

  8. Me too Heidi!!
    Brandy I love this post! it is so true and I know just what you mean. well one third of it since I only have one little boy! you are the super mom!

  9. AB’s comment is the BEST!

    yes, brandy. you are also THAT woman! and i love you for it!

    i miss you today! (where art thou??)

  10. she is the hide and seek queen of 2008 right now .. that is why she just cant be here all the time miss alece..

  11. tv girl isnt snorting a fallon in many of the states?

  12. Great post Bran. I’m glad to be catching up…

  13. felony heidi… awww… that has a nice ring to it.

    and thank you, mister AB, for letting me know about brandy’s latest “identity”.

    i think she’s gonna LOVE coming back here to discover that we’ve assaulted her comments with our banter!

  14. toni never understood catching up … sounds like a 5 year old girl catching a softball …. the motion of her arms going up.. are you catching like a girl?????

    miss alece i do not banter …. i say things as i see it .. and in my mind it is final…and yes you can call me MISTER , miss alece

  15. and so nice to see you at attension

  16. i also long for some brandy and coke..

    ok ok i am going to sleep …. brain is getting lame with jokes

  17. 😯

  18. Yay, I did it, and all because of your help, thank you so much!

  19. You are the coolest…


  20. Ha I am having way to much fun with this!

  21. well tracie jane .. glad someone could help you … others are just born like this and nothing can help them

  22. I’m always late for a banter…
    yep a felony!!!

    But I was working… soon eh???

    Brandy where are you??????

  23. I think you missed a very important one – you are papa & mama’s daughter.

  24. beautifully said, brandy!

    i live a life very similar to yours and totally understand where you’re coming from! πŸ™‚

  25. Bran said you were chatting at me…so I had to peek in.

    catching up…well..I don’t actually know many 5 year olds that can catch anything really cept a cold maybe….he he…

    I really just wanted Brandy to know I was here reading..I’ve been computer MIA for several months, plus I know nothing about wordpress here.

    Oh and when I last talked to Brandy she was busy eating as always! he he…

  26. it’s so important that in all the roles we women play, we never forget who WE really are deep down inside. What we love doing. It keeps the sparkle in us. πŸ˜‰

  27. morning, friend! πŸ™‚

  28. And today, well today I am a writer.

    Yes and this is one of my favorite posts this morning! Thanks for writing this my friend.

  29. I LOVE my blog family. LOVE LOVE LOVE you guys. You have all brought such a huge smile to my face this morning. My heart feels full.

    I love you!

  30. April, thank you for your words. And when you become a mom, you won’t know what hit you! πŸ˜†
    Alece, ♥ you.
    Tracie, I love that quote! It’s great! πŸ˜€ And I’m glad you figured out the emoticons. πŸ˜‰
    Heidi, I’m into details when I have TIME for them. πŸ˜† I actually wrote this last week ON PAPER in the middle of the night. I couldn’t sleep and this post was forming in my head and I thought “this needs to get out!” πŸ˜† Thank you for what you said though. πŸ˜€ I too wish for a night when we’re all online at the same time again. Hmmm….I wonder how we could work that out???
    AB, you need a dog? Well when will Alece get her little dog that she won, FAIR AND SQUARE I might add? πŸ˜† And, you do owe me big for turner your wife into a hooker in red heels! πŸ˜† A thank you note will suffice. HAHA!!!
    Faith, oh yes, just wait until your days are multiplied by three!!! Talk about CA-RAZY!!! πŸ˜†
    ALECE and AB: you two are HILARIOUS and had me CRACKING UP last night when I was reading your comments! Oh my gosh. I’m not even going to address each one specifically, but man oh man I was close to peeing my pants. 😯
    Papa and Mama, I sure do love you guys. Very very much. ♥
    Brandi, we do have similar lives. Very similar! Don’t you just stare at your three little men and think “they are amazing!” πŸ˜€
    Rachel, so so soooo true. Same can be said for our roles as wives. So easy to get lost sometimes huh? πŸ˜‰
    Ric, friend, your comment made me smile HUGE! ESPECIALLY coming from you! I am honored. πŸ™‚
    And EVERYONE, meet my best friend….TONI. πŸ˜€ I am super excited that she has a computer once again and will be joining in on the converstaions here. Plus I’m going to try to rope her in everywhere else as well. πŸ˜‰
    Toni, πŸ˜€ You make me laugh, a lot!

  31. and p.s. I was eating when I was talking to Toni last night. Pizza. I made myself a pizza and chowed down while Jake gave the boys a bath. What can I say, we talk when we can. πŸ˜† HAHA!

  32. wait, she said “eating as always” πŸ˜•

    is that why I’ve gained EIGHT POUNDS?! 😯


  33. WE need to rope AB and Alece.. So it might be a late niter.. But for family anything works.. right?

    Love you Brandy!!

  34. Pingback: Memory Lane: 1st Edition « MY DAO DAYS

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