Who I am can be described as Jake’s wife.
Dylan, Aidan, and Owen’s mom.
My entire identity is wrapped up in my role as a wife and a mom.
I’m not Brandy the teacher or
Brandy the counselor, or
Brandy the oceanographer (8th grade dream!) or
Brandy the writer.
All things I wanted to be when I was growing up. Have I lost myself along the way? Who am I aside from Brandy the wife and mom?
Sometimes I forget that I love to rollarblade. That I like going to eat late at night. That I like to sleep late–wait, nevermind. I’ll never forget that. 😉 Sometimes I forget that I love being around people. I love to be in a crowd and know almost everyone there. I love to be able to say “let’s go do this or that” and leave right then….. not after meals or naps or diaper changes or bathroom runs or diaper bag packing or making sure everyone has sippies with water and combed hair and clean noses and clothes and and and and and….. I could go on and on. (that was one heckuva long sentence there!) I love to take a shower everyday…and even more than that I love to take a shower without toddler eyes peeking in at me. I love to do my hair and makeup without holding a baby at the same time. These are all things I forgot that I love to do. They seem pretty simple, but along the way, I let each one of those things go, and more.
As I lay here in bed tonight, I realize that even though I let all those things go, I gained what I always wanted in the first place. All those things were back up plans that I became focused on because I was certain I’d never get what I really wanted.
Everyday I am a teacher. I teach Dylan how to spell baby and dog, and doctor. I teach him that red and blue make purple. I teach him that if you sound a word out slowly you can learn to read, which he is well on his way towards. 😀 I teach Aidan how to draw shapes and write letters. I teach him how to be a big brother and say his prayers. He is amazing at saying his prayers. “Fank you dear Jesus for all you’ve done for us and for da fings you have done for us.” 😆 ♥ I love him. I teach Owen to learn to obey by giving him simple intructions just so he will learn by succeeding- and want to do it again and again. I teach him how to walk with shoes on, to climb down the stairs, to be gentle with the dog, to give kisses.
Everytime one of the boys comes to me crying, I am their counselor. Whenever Dylan wants to talk about his wife, I listen. And he does talk about his wife. He wants to know who she is and “when can I marry her?” and “where will we live together?” or “when I marry my wife can I be the boss of OUR kids?” 😆 When Aidan tells me he is scared, I am his counselor. When he wants to talk about his mean big brother, I am there. When he wants to tell me how his feelings hurt or how he misses his granny, I am there. When Owen needs a good cry, I just hold him until he’s done. When he wants to “babble” I am there too. I am even there when he just wants to poke me in the face. I’d say I go far beyond the regular duties of your typical counselor. 😉
Now the oceanographer is the tricky one. However, I’d say that Dylan and AIdan consider me the expert on whales and fishies and starfish and sharks. Otherwise they’d quit asking me a hundred times every other day about why a “horse” can live in “da ocean” and why do starfish have so many legs? Or, “why are wales SO BIG?!” Or my favorite, “how did a man live inside of a whale?” (Jonah ring bell?) 😆
I do all of these things everyday simultaneously, times three. My cup runeth over.
So yeah, I’d say I got all my wishes wrapped up in the biggest wish of all….to have a family and be a mom. I’ve got the family I knew I wanted when I was 15. Everyday I am a teacher and a counselor. Only every other day am I an oceanographer.
And today, well today I am a writer.