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Do I love it because I have to?

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As I was putting the boys down for a nap a bit ago, I was thinking about how much I love it here. The town has everything you’d need (besides a Toys R Us which oddly enough I miss). There is a zoo, a mall, the State Fair (not that you NEED that), Super Walmart (which you DO need), Target, restaurants (although no Red Robin which we grieve deeply for), parks, camping close by, lakes, movie theater, good shopping, beautiful old historic buildings, a library, bowling, an outdoor museum….have I made my point? We’re not really hurtin’ for anything here. Besides a good church. But that’s a WHOLE ‘nother topic. πŸ˜• And SO FAR the weather has suited me just fine. I am in love with the weather as of now. Talk to me again in December. Although, being an indoor person myself, I just might love December even more. πŸ˜‰

I am VERY surprised at myself and how much I am comfortable here. Yes, I miss my family, my mom I miss a lot. I miss family stuff for the holidays and birthdays. But overall, I have no complaints. Life is so much slower paced and I love that. I love that there is not a lot to do but stay home and be a FAMILY. I missed that so much the four years we were home. Yes we had extended family, but there is something to be said for your nuclear family. Me, Jake, the boys. Those four years at home we didn’t see much of Jake and rarely had a family dinner together that wasn’t after 7:30 (b/c Jake didn’t get home until 7 most nights). Jake would sometimes go a few days without seeing the boys at all b/c of his schedule. I hated it. The boys hated it. Now, he is home a lot. And yes somedays it’s a hard adjustment b/c even still, it’s something I’m getting used to, but I love it so much more.

I have a point here. I do. While I was thinking about all of that stuff, I thought “I wonder if I’ve made myself love it here because there is no other option?” I am really THAT surprised by how well I feel I’ve adjusted. Sure, we don’t have any close friends here yet like we did at home. Well, I have one friend, but Jake so far hasn’t shown any interest in anyone at work….for hanging out with. He’s quiet like that. πŸ˜‰ I wish we knew more people, but that’s not HIGH on my list right now. I’m sure once we get into a church, that will all come together.

I feel cozy here. Cozy and comfortable. I am happy that I do, but the cautious part of me is wondering when I’ll start to hate it. IF I’ll start to hate it. I also wonder if my happiness is more linked to that fact that for the first time in YEARS I’ve allowed my body to go so long without being pregnant? πŸ˜† haha!!! Just kidding. But really, that’s funny. To me. πŸ˜† πŸ˜† heehee


21 responses »

  1. it’s called grace, friend.

  2. rereading that, i sound snotty. i wasn’t writing it snotty. i wish you could have seen my face and heard my voice. but alas, internet doesn’t allow us that luxury.

    let me expound.

    His grace is more than enough, and it’s there for you now to get you through this time. His grace is enough to not just help you get by, but to enable you to love where you are – not just physical location by your season of life.

    amazing grace…

  3. Just call when the lonely moments might hit – you have made a big hit w/mama as you know! I think you have made an effort to love it w/all 4 boys. You will be fine – even in December!

  4. Where do you live now and where are you from originally?

  5. Faith, I’m originally from Oregon. Souther Oregon. We moved to Missouri for three years, then back to Oregon for four years, and now we’re in North Dakota. Air Force for the last 8 years. πŸ˜‰
    Papa, Mama’s made a hit here too! πŸ˜€ I love our phone chats. She’s too precious and sweet to me!
    Alece, I didn’t read that snotty. I know you’re heart enough to know snotty was not at all what you meant. πŸ˜€ But I still loved your expounding. And btw, loving the use of expounding between us lately. πŸ˜† hahaha!!!

  6. Brandy…I found your blog via Alece’s. I have been checking it out fairly regularly for a couple of months now and so I thought I should probably stop by and say hello!

  7. A couple of MONTHS?! WOW! 😯

    Well thank you. :blush:

    And thanks for coming out of hiding! πŸ˜€

    Do you have a blog?

  8. When I read this, it reminded me of living in Kansas City. Everything was wonderful there — so perfectly arranged for our young life together. We were dirt poor and yet totally at peace.

    Love it as long as it lasts, Brandy!

  9. phew.

    glad you understood.

    love you!

  10. is there a st. arbucks??? that would be key for me…

    and i would have to go with alece on this one…

  11. there is definately a st. arbucks. I must confess, I didn’t like starbucks. At all. Ever. I know, stone me now right? πŸ˜‰

    Since moving here however, I’ve grown to like it. It’s the best coffee drive thru in town!

  12. Michelle, Kansas City is great! So much to see and do there!! We lived about 1.5 hours from there when we lived in Missouri. We always went to Independence though b/c it was closer, and smaller. πŸ˜‰

  13. It is great to see how quickly you have made you new house and town you home. You have such a great personality, even if a tad crazy :), I am sure anyone who meets you will want to be your friend.

    Just curious, which of your kids do you think take after you and which are more like Jake?

  14. Ya know Ed, I think you just gave me a great idea for a new post. πŸ˜‰

    I had a reply all typed out and it was as long as a post and I thought “huh, I should post this.” So I will. πŸ˜‰ It’ll be my next one.

    Ed I think you’re great! πŸ˜€

  15. Man how long have you been married for? aren’t you only 25 or something? Not like I should be talking, I got married at 19! Oh and come mid February we can complain about the winter together!! ok i have to go Con is attacking me with kisses!

  16. Faith, where do you live?
    I got married at 19 too.
    Jake has been in the military for 8 years, and we’ve been married for 7.5 years. πŸ˜‰ And I’ll be 27 in November.
    That is me. In a nutshell. πŸ˜†

  17. Well I’m from Michigan, lived in Mexico for about 6 years when I was a kid and in Botswana for almost 2 years and have been in Illinois, 45 min from Chicago for 4 years. How do you guys like the military life? I’ll be 24 on Halloween. It seems we have a lot in common, I think it would be great to have a family of all boys like you too. Do you ever wish you had a girl?

  18. Hey! My best friend lives in Janesville WI, and my sister lived 40 minutes from Chicago all summer. She moved back home about a month ago though. Another friend of mine lives in Illinois too not far from Chicago but I can’t remember the name of the town. *shrug*
    Do I ever wish I had a girl? All the time. But I have never wished to NOT have all my boys. People confuse that sometimes. They figure if a mom of all boys wants a girl then that means she didn’t want her boys. Not true. I would love a girl. My heart is sad sometimes at the thought of never doing mother/daughter stuff, but people keep telling me I’ll love my daughters in law even more now. πŸ˜‰ We’ll see. πŸ˜† heehee

  19. In my family I have three older brothers and a older sister, I feel like my mother was more unconditional with her love and care for my brothers (and now that I think about it, she still is that way with them). My older sister can do no wrong in my mothers eyes and they have always been very close. Me on the other hand, I have had a less than great relationship with my mom. I always feel like she resented me for some reason and on top of that we but heads on a lot of things. I use to think there was something “wrong” with me for this but as I have grown up a bit I see it as more her issues. Everyone tells you “you’ll understand when your a mom” but to be honest, I have found more faults in her mothering than I have understood her parenting choices. So I said ALL this to say that, I am TERRIFIED to have a girl!! I feel like I can only handle one “mother- daughter” relationship in my life. I would hate to somehow copy the way my mother is and pass those bad feelings on to my girl. I think we are only planing on having one more baby, so I think before that happens I have a lot of mom issues to work on. I would hate to have a cloud hanging over my pregnancy. Oh and I am sure you will love your daughters-in-law some day!

  20. Yes, a couple of months now. I stayed in hiding for quite some time. I watched Alece’s blog for quite some time without saying anything too and I had actually met her before! I went for a while without a blog and am just getting one started again. It is definitely still a work in progress right now because I am still trying to figure out all this WordPress stuff! As soon as I figure out how to link it when I leave comments I will sure do that!

  21. Bwan~Your post reminded me of Paul’s words about being content in whatever circumstances. Like Leece said, God gives us grace that’s sufficient for the current season and when we’re at where God wants us at, He usually provides the peace and strength and joy to go with it, praise God.

    I’m so glad you’re happy/content where you’re at. Of course there will be moments where you may feel like something is off or “wrong” but you have to take one day at a time and live today without worrying about tomorrow because tomorrow will have troubles of its own [in Jesus’ wise words :)].

    Love you πŸ™‚


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