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Monthly Archives: September 2008

My Funny Boys

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Jake has two tattoos, a band on each arm. Dylan was looking at them and said “daddy when I get bigger can I get a tattoo?” Jake said “yeah I guess if you want one when you get older” and then Dylan said “okay! I want 80!”  😆  Then Aidan chimed in and said “I just want four.”  😆 hahaha!!

Dylan was trying to go *ahem* poo the other day and said he couldn’t. I said “oh well then huh?” and he said “it just doesn’t want to come out of it’s house. It thinks I’m its house!”  😯  😆

At night when Aidan is praying he says “and fank you Jesus for us being naughty today.”  😆 hahaha!!! I really hope he means forgive us.

I’m not sure if I ever told this story before, but they are BIG about being the boss lately. OF THEIR OWN BODIES.  😯 They kept fighting over who was boss of what and I told them they are each the boss of their own bodies and that was it. Now, this is what happens:

Dylan: Aidan took my car! Aidan you need to give me my car back!

Aidan: No I not. Yer not da boss DYWAN!

Dylan: Yes I am! I am the BOSS OF MY OWN BODY!!! YOU’RE not the boss Aidan!

Aidan: Yes I am! I am the BOSS OF MY OWN BODY!!!

Dylan/Aidan: MOMMY HE SAYS I’M NOT THE BOSS BUT I AM THE BOSS OF MY OWN BODY!!!!

😯 I’ve created monsters. 😆

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Memory Lane: 2nd Edition

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If you want to read the 1st Edition, go HERE.

I just have a few that I want to post tonight. Two cutesy ones, and one dark one. Very dark. I hesitated while making the decision to put it on here, but I feel like it completely captured how I felt at the time. Sometimes I still feel that way. The first one is about my Grandpa. We had to make acrostic poems (remember, these were all written about 10 years ago in highschool) and I had about a hundred of them, but I especially love this one.

Great big hands

Reaching out to hold me

Always there with his arms open wide

Never giving the cold shoulder

Deep soothing voice

Praising my every

Attempt at life.

*******************************************

This next one I have no idea why I wrote it, but I thought it was cute. 😉

Love is white like a rose 

and sounds like  a waterfall.

It rushes through my soul.

It makes me feel like I can go against all odds.

It makes me want to live.

(go ahead, snicker. I did rereading some of these! 😆  )

***********************************************

Okay, now this next one is kinda dark and deep, but remember, I was an angry teenager. kthx. 😉

Dear Daddy,

I wish you were dead. No, just gone. I have so much energy and hatred toward you. I could rip your heart out the way you did mine. Do you get a high from hurting me daddy? How do you tick? What goes on in your head? Do you really truly love me daddy? I don’t feel it, see it, hear it, or believe it. You’re a thorn in my side. I could pluck you out and flush you down a dark pit (Brandy here….can you in fact FLUSH someone down a pit?) without a rope to climb out with. (the ending bugs me. I’m not sure where I was going or why I painted that picture. It doesn’t make sense to me)

*************************************************

Okay, this next piece is NOT something I wrote, nor is it poetry of any kind. It was however in the same folder that I kept all writings that meant something to me. When I read this letter the other night I was choking back tears. It was a recommendation letter for college scholarships.

To Whom It May Concern,

My wife and I have known Brandy for 3 years and we have watched her grow up and mature before our eyes. She has taken steps and made decisions that my wife and I have been very impressed by.

She is a person who works hard and always does more than she is asked to do. Brandy has always been honest with us and she has never been afraid to speak up when she felt something needed to be better. Brandy has a supportive family and a lot of great friends that wish to see her succeed. Brandy has a love for doing what is right even when those around her want to take a different step, and Brandy always makes a decision based on integrity instead of pressure.

I believe that Brandy would have no problem succeeding in anything that she wishes to put her mind to. Brandy knows the commitments that need to be made to allow her dreams and goals to become reality, and she does not break commitments that would discourage or hurt those around her. I believe that Brandy will achieve many things through school and her future career choices.

Best Regards…..

Brent Hodge

Well B, I’m sorry I never finished college, but your letter DID help get me some good scholarships. 😉 That letter means so much more to me now though, than it did then. 😉

Okay friends, that’s enough of second edition. 😆

p.s. ya’ll got me writing again and you’ll be glad to know (because of your adamant persuasion) I’ve written three more. Can’t promise you’ll ever see them though. 😉

Washed By The Water….some music for your weekend.

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Daddy was a Preacher
She was his wife
Just tryin’ to make the world a little better
You know, shine a light

People started talking
Just to hear their own voice
Those people tried to accuse my Father
Saying He’d made the wrong choice

Though it might be painful
You know time will always tell
Those people have long since gone
My Father never failed

Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water

Even when the Earth crumbles under my feet
Even when the ones I love turn around and crucify me
I won’t never ever let You down
I won’t fall, I won’t fall, I won’t fall as long as You’re around me

Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the Water

What I DO in my small corner of the world

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*my post today is part of Mandy Thompson’s September campaign to DO Something*

 

We’re nearing the end of Mandy’s month of DOing. As I’ve been reading along with the rest of you, I’ve read some amazing stories. Some have been on a grand scale, while others have been on a smaller (although equally as important) scale. My story, stays right here at home.

At this time in my life, God has made me a mother of three beautiful and energenic little boys. He has made me the wife of an even bigger boy that loves having a wife to take care of him and cook for him. Just tonight he was very excited I did his laundry. 😉  For this season, I know God is calling me to DO better with what I have, with where I’m at. There have been times in my life as a mom and wife where I’ve wished I could DO more with charities or missions, or volunteer at schools and churches. I’ve missed the feeling I used to get when I would go to Mexico on a church mission trip to build houses for people that lived in a shack smaller than my walk in closet. I miss my time working with teenagers, teaching them about abstinence education so they could then go on to teach 6th graders the benefits of abstinence. I still have a great passion for teaching abstinence because of my time with the S.T.A.R.S. Foundation (students today aren’t ready for sex), and it’s something I hope to do again one day. Both of those times were AMAZING times of DOing in my life.

As I was reflecting on what it is that I DO or have done, I was talking to God and asking him to help me out here. As a mom it’s easy to feel like you’re strapped for time to make a difference. I was feeling defeated…. “I can’t DO anything. I don’t have time. I don’t have the extra energy.”  That is when God spoke these words to me. “Never underestimate the power of where you’re at in your life, Brandy.”  It took a while for that to sink in for me.

I can’t underestimate the power of where I am NOW, as a mom, as a wife. Even if you’re not a mom or a wife, you have so much power in your everyday life to DO something, anything. Small things make such a big difference. Since that night I heard God speak that to me, I have kept it to myself until now. Instead I’ve been focusing on my life here at home. How can I make a difference EVERYDAY here, right now. I made a list of things that I want to DO everyday, to make a difference in their lives. Things that they will remember. Things they will carry with them their whole lives. It has made me pour more into my boys. With every conversation I have with them I am thinking “How can I add THEM to God’s kingdom? How can I further enrich THEIR life? How can I DO more?” all with the hope that it will have that ripple effect. They are a long term project in my attempt to DO something. With my older boy (*cough* husband) I am trying to be a more attentive wife, trying to take better care of him, trying to be the wife God wants me to be.

I have that “edge of your seat” excitement about my life right now. Moving to a new area, joining a new church, joining a mothers group….. all those hold great opportunities for DOing. My hope is that we will DO as a family, because it all started here at home.

I know this all sounds so simple and not far reaching in an attempt to DO something in my community.  I feel that if I don’t start at home and teach my family to DO something, then I have underestimated the power of where God has placed me for this season in my life.

Amen and Hallelujah. 😉

The Journal Of An 8 Year Old Brandy

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10-11-90

Dear Journal, A few days ago my sisster was riding a bike and she hit a truck and split her head open and my mom was running down to get her and I ran to the side of the house and I swore that I woul never forgive myself ever agin if she had to have sergery! (teacher wrote me back with “It wouldn’t have been your fault though.) I know but I was so scared! I thought she was goin to have sergery!

10-15-90

Today was kind of boring but I had A little fun. I played hopscotch.

10-16-90

Today was realy fun and eispeshely when I got to get my picture taken.

10-23-90

Today I played tether ball all day but when I got tierd I quit.

10-25-90

in november my birthday is on a friday and I am very exited and I am inviting you to.

11-7-90 (just for the record, when Jake read this one the other night, he laughed so hard his face turned purple and I’m pretty sure he peed his pants. we were laying in bed reading all these and could NOT stop laughing.)

Dear Miss Dowers (my teacher) I don’t have much to say but I have one thing to say that I’m glad I don’t any cavities.

11-15-90

Dear Miss Dowers, I don’t have much to say so by!

12-13-90

Dear Miss Dowers, to day is my cousins Birthday and she is turing two today and I made her a picture of a spaship!!! Bye! Bye!

1-2-91

I got a new kids on the block paper holder. (I’m pretty sure that was the best day of my life at that point 😆 )  and today is my mom’s birthday and she does not know I am setting up a surprise birthday party and I invited the poeple my self!

1-4-91

In december the week before Christmas my grandpa got a new van we went to the mall and we were sliding  and turnd around to get the keys and he fell and he broke his big bone in his sholder and we finaly got him in the van and I was krying very hard and he is very fine today but i am very sad still and I hope he gets better very soon and I think it will heel I think in January or some time this year.

1-8-91

today Ryan Marie is going to com over to my house and spend the night watch T.V. all night until 12:00 and we are going to watch about the world war III. Wensday at music I told her that I was scared because a lot of people were going to DIE! (my teacher wrote “it is sad.” Yes, I thought we were in the middle of WWIII in ’91)

2-22-91

For spring vacation I wanted to go up and see my dad but we can’t aford it. Happy Spring Vacation!

(not dated)

On easter I had a great time. But when my dad left I cried very very hard.

5-14-91

I hope we will have fun tomorrow. I asked my mom if I could have some money for candy and a drink for the movies. She said I could have 5 or 6 dollars. I can’t wait untile tomorrow.

**Oh I had so much fun reading the whole thing. These are just some that I thought were funny and cute. Jake especially had fun reading this. He could NOT stop laughing. It was even more fun listening to him read these. Oh my goodness. 😆 What is really funny to me is that I REMEMBER a lot of this stuff.

It insults me when they call you “pretend”

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So, as usual, I was “thinking in blog” when I was nursing Owen to lay him down for his nap. I get some pretty good ideas around that time. Then, and at 4 in the morning. Or when I lay down for bed. Cooking, I get some cooking too. Or taking a shower. Or, or, or…..

Where was I? oh yes. In my mind I was thinking out a blog I intend to write, and I will, but I was referring to one of you as my friend. Then something I have heard from non bloggers came into my mind, like an evil bad voice. “Oh, your pretend friends.” PRETEND FRIENDS?! 😯

Here’s the thing, none of you feel “pretend” to me. It isn’t so much the act of posting a blog and reading someones blog that creates these REAL friendships. It’s the comments. And the emails. And the phone calls. And if you’re really lucky, the chance to meet in real life. I never set out to find new friends online when I created my blog, but it just….happened. Out of thin air, it happened.

I love my REAL blog friends, my blog family. I keep up my blog now for much different reasons than what I started it for. I keep it up because of my friends. 😉

Memory Lane: 1st Edition

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I can’t believe I am going to do this. I feel like I’m posting a naked picture of myself or something. 😕 ew.

I told Ed and Ric once several months back that I had folders of poems I had written a LONG time ago. Back during that “writer” phase. I also said once we unpacked I’d put a few up on my blog. After my “identity” post the other day I started going through boxes and found some. Instead of overloading my blog with a bunch of teenage angst all at once, I thought I’d do it over the course of several posts. I also found a collection of poems that I saved from any and everywhere. I want to add those too because they are some of my favorites. Here’s some to get this party started. 😉

The price I must pay

for this profit is loss

but you could not explain this logic

to my heart

I know it is right in the sight of

my God

but my heart is dying to differ

It cries and it screams

and it breaks all day long

and the nights are far gone from better

I awake from my sleep

to a tear soaken pillow

and heart that has been shattered

waiting for mend

As I lay there and think

“my life is on end”

God sends me a peace

that mends.

I am not sure when I wrote that. It was in highschool sometime, as pretty much all of them were. You know, in highschool the world is just so dramatic and earth shattering. 😆 However, I’m still quite dramatic. Just this morning I had a bit of a dramatic flare up when I discovered the epiglottis in Aidan and Dylan’s throat. That’s a post for another time. Call me stupid, but I didn’t even know that ugly thing existed.

Here’s another for your viewing pleasure. 😉 I had to write a poem in language arts class about a chapter in the book Snow Falling On Cedars. Here is what resulted….

Drawing up for myself

 in the silence of my mind

a list of the things

now cluttering my heart…..

father is gone

soon everyone with a

Japanese face

on San Piedro will

be sent away

until the war is over

I have a hakujin boyfriend

I can only

see in

secret

On top of these

insoluble things

Mom has only hours before

probed into the pit of her soul

discovering her deep uncertainty.

Reading that now, I have NO CLUE what any of that means. HAHA!! 😆

Okay, I’m cringing. Feedback people. *eyes clamped shut*