Ahhhhh my first born.
Nothing compares to your first baby. And only those with more than one can understand how the love for your first is different. Not more or less or better….just different. I didn’t love Dylan right away. I know, I know. I should be put in a test tube and studied. But I didn’t. And I kept it a secret for a long time. Now I tell any new mom my story of not loving him instantly. It’s interesting how many other newbies actually relate and say “thank you” for sharing. It took me about a week to fall in love with him. After I delivered him my best friend called and said “do you just love him so much?! would you just give your life for him in a heartbeat?!” I lied. I didn’t tell her I lied until she was pregnant with her first.
I had to learn to love him. He was new and I was new and I didn’t know him. The thought that “they” were letting me take home this “thing” was unreal to me. It also didn’t help that Jake wasn’t there for me to share it with. He was in Texas. In school to become a nasty recruiter. Never recruit if given the choice. Ever. My mom was with me though and there was NO WAY I was telling her.
Dylan put me through trial by fire. I think that is why I feel like my connection to him is so different. I had so much to learn. And he taught me. He made me a mommy.
He is the most like me out of all three too. Oh man is he like me. My mom calls it payback. I agree. He is so incredibly frustrating for me on a daily basis. He is challenging I should say, which is frustrating for me. He is loud, as am I. He is emotionally charged, as am I. He is a controller, as am I. He is bossy, as am I. And he likes to argue, as.do.I. And the list goes on and on. So imagine how often we butt heads on a daily basis? 😉
But no matter how challenging he is, man oh man can that kid make me smile, make my heart soar, and make my eyes wet. 🙂 He is smarter than I think I even realize, this my mom tells me all the time. He LOVES to learn. Loves it. I am so proud of my little guy.
Came back to add: Dylan just came in chattering away to me and I said “your voice sounds different today bud (yet another change!)” and he said “well that’s just the way my BRAIN IS!” hahahaha!!!! 😆