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He makes my eyes wet….

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Ahhhhh my first born.

Nothing compares to your first baby. And only those with more than one can understand how the love for your first is different. Not more or less or better….just different.  I didn’t love Dylan right away. I know, I know. I should be put in a test tube and studied. But I didn’t. And I kept it a secret for a long time. Now I tell any new mom my story of not loving him instantly. It’s interesting how many other newbies actually relate and say “thank you” for sharing. It took me about a week to fall in love with him. After I delivered him my best friend called and said “do you just love him so much?! would you just give your life for him in a heartbeat?!”  I lied. I didn’t tell her I lied until she was pregnant with her first.

I had to learn to love him. He was new and I was new and I didn’t know him. The thought that “they” were letting me take home this “thing” was unreal to me. It also didn’t help that Jake wasn’t there for me to share it with. He was in Texas. In school to become a nasty recruiter. Never recruit if given the choice. Ever. My mom was with me though and there was NO WAY I was telling her.

a little blurry but I love it!

a little blurry but I love it!

Dylan put me through trial by fire. I think that is why I feel like my connection to him is so different. I had so much to learn. And he taught me. He made me a mommy.

He is the most like me out of all three too. Oh man is he like me. My mom calls it payback. I agree. He is so incredibly frustrating for me on a daily basis. He is challenging I should say, which is frustrating for me. He is loud, as am I. He is emotionally charged, as am I. He is a controller, as am I. He is bossy, as am I. And he likes to argue, as.do.I. And the list goes on and on.  So imagine how often we butt heads on a daily basis? 😉

But no matter how challenging he is, man oh man can that kid make me smile, make my heart soar, and make my eyes wet. 🙂 He is smarter than I think I even realize, this my mom tells me all the time. He LOVES to learn. Loves it. I am so proud of my little guy.

First day of preschool LAST year

First day of preschool LAST year

Came back to add: Dylan just came in chattering away to me and I said “your voice sounds different today bud (yet another change!)” and he said “well that’s just the way my BRAIN IS!” hahahaha!!!! 😆

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15 responses »

  1. I’m pretty in purple. 😆

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  2. Wow, that backpack is almost bigger than him.

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  3. It was! But now, now it’s perfect size. *sigh* They grow SO MUCH in a year. 😕

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  4. Man, no more wrestling matches with that kiddo! I think he would take me down!

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  5. Precious, Little One – Precious – I wish I could be there to read them a story – and chat with a wonderful mommy.

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  6. I loved reading these last three posts. What cute boy’s you have. 🙂

    Did you have fun with Jake’s parents?

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  7. Rachele, he totally takes Jake down. He’s scrappy! 😆
    *
    Papa, they would LOVE if you read them a story! And I would love a chat! 😀 Love you.
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    Jenny, thank you. 😀 I happen to agree. 😆 heehee Jake’s parents visit was nice, the boys really enjoyed it a lot. Owen is having withdrawals. 😆 He misses being held all day. 😕

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  8. i learned so much from this post that i am going to be so thankful for someday. so i’ll thank you now.

    thank you.

    and nice “siggy”!

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  9. love your “spotlights” on each of your boys… i totally get the love them the same, love them different attitude. feel exactly the same way about my three!

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  10. man o man! This makes me scared to have anymore! My love for my boy is so great I don’t want to have any other kind. But I totally know what you mean about not loving him right away. My whole pregnancy I was in love with my baby but when he came out I didn’t feel the bond. I loved him and knew that when I was feeling better I would bond with him but it took a while. I hated the recovery part, like the first 6 weeks feeling so tired and everything. My big problem was wanting to breast feed. Everyone told me I would LOVE it and it would come so natural. First off when you hear loving breast feeding I think crazy! I had so much trouble but I stuck with it, I really wanted to do it for him because it the best. But I told myself if it ever felt weird or dirty I would quit. That worked for me. I have told that to a lot of new moms and they seem to relate with that. I think us younger moms don’t think of our boobs as being for kids. Who knows, but I am glad you felt the same way. Good job for doing it alone. You are very strong.

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  11. oh ya did I mention his first night home he would not stop crying and the thought that crossed my mind for a split second was “throw him out the window”! Thats when I called my sister to stay with us. I wonder if other moms have though that.

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  12. Oh Faith, you have no idea how many new moms think irrationally like that. It’s sad it’s not talked about more often. It’s completely normal.
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    Alece, I’m glad to know someone learned something! 😆 I reread it after you said that and I thought “I wonder which part” haha! There is definately a learning curve, that’s for sure. You had some good practice with Peaberry though! 😉
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    I love hearing from other moms of boys, especially three boys. The dynamic is so different!

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  13. That last comment was for you Brandi. haha! 😆

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  14. Thanks again for leaving comments on my blog, esp about the sweet potato allergy your son has too. I read the hospital post and that sounded so scary! When did you realize it was b/c of sweet potatoes? Has your pediatrician said anything to help? Do you think your son will outgrow it? And your other two don’t have it, right? (I’d haaaate to test it on my future kid, you know?) I thought that sweet potatoes weren’t a real prevalent veggie, but now I see them everywhere on menues — sweet potato fries, pancakes, mashed, etc. I am scared about it ever happening to us again…
    BTW, I loved your post about your first born and how that feels. I’m hoping to have two or three also and have wondered how that’ll feel. Thanks again for getting in touch with me! Please drop by my blog again if you get a chance!
    Mary Jo

    Reply

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