Prayers Needed

Okay all, we need a rally here.

 Jake just got a phone call. His cousin Ben (26) was just killed tonight in a freak accident. I don’t know the details exactly, but from what Jake told me, Ben and his wife (married around 2 years, if that) were in a hail storm and got out of the car and another car came towards them, Ben pushed his wife out of the way and he got hit instead and died. That is all I know for now. Jake is torn, as is the whole family.

Please keep Ben’s family in your prayers. I will update as I know more.

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Randomness…..My constant state of mind.

HAHAHA! I thought that title was fitting. 😉 Those of you who know me “in real life” know this to be true. Heck, some of you who know me only through blogging already have tapped into that! 😯 haha! (Love, Papa, I’m talkin’ to you two!)

 So I feel like educating you on my randomness, so enjoy! (I thought of random things ALL DAY and now I am blank…..)

• while driving, I lift my big toes up when we pass a driveway 😯 (yeah, maybe I shouldn’t have led with that one)
• I’m a cracker….meaning I crack eveything that will possibly crack. My knuckles, my toes, my ankles, my tailbone (that one is tricky), my neck, my back (I make Jake do that one and he HATES it). I even crack my gum. 😯 Jake hates that one too. 😉
• I’m lazy and pick things up with my toes b/c I don’t want to bend over to get it. It’s worked well for me. 😆 hehe Tonight I noticed my neice doing the same thing when picking up the blocks. 😯
• I love diet drinks for the taste. I found out when I was pg with Aidan that I have very low bloodsugar, so I had to cut almost all sugar out of my diet, so that meant diet sodas, and now I love diet sodas. I can’t stand the taste of regular. And yes Love, I know, no soda would be better! 😉
• I’m an infomercial-a-holic. I love to be up late at night watching them. It’s weird.
• I’m also addicted to QVC and HSN. I like QVC better, but HSN has some good stuff too. I don’t care for the hosts on HSN as much. haha. I’m very scientific as you can tell. 😛
• I suckle in my sleep. I hate that word suckle, but that’s what I do. Like a baby. How do I know this….Jake tells me. And sometimes, in that “half awake half asleep” stage, I can tell I’m doing it. It makes me laugh to know this about myself.
• I hate shoes. And socks. Okay, I hate wearing shoes, but love cute shoes. Make sense?? Basically, I go barefoot always, unless I have to go into a store or someplace public. I go barefoot when I walk, unless it’s either too hot or too cold out, I go barefoot when I drive, I go barefoot to check the mail…..sometimes even in the snow. 😯 I just hate socks and shoes period.
• My feet are not pretty, probably b/c of the going barefoot thing. Jake always says “GEEZE! Your feet are like sandpaper” b/c they are. His feet are as smooth as a baby bottom, and he says that is b/c he always wears at least socks. Which he does. Me, nope.
• I am deathly afraid of spiders. I hate them. Bugs in general, but definately spiders. *shudder*
• I’m scared of the dark. Lame, I know. But seriously, I hate the dark. I need some sort of light somewhere. I don’t like night lights, but I do like to have some sort of light that I can see. Whether it be light under the door, light from the computer, something. Although, light from the clock is too much light, and annoying.
• I’m not a fan of whipped cream. At all. HOMEMADE whipped cream I love, but that crap that you can buy in the store…..ew. I hate it. It’s gross.
• I hate pies. Okay I take that back, the ONLY pies I like are pumpkin and strawberry pie. That’s it. 😉
• I pretend I can sing. I LOVE to sing. I love to sing out loud, very loud. Problem is, I can’t sing to save my life. I’m awful. A few dilusional people have told me I sound good, but I think they were wanting something in return b/c seriously, I can’t sing. I like to think I can, but even Jake says “do you have to do that outloud?” haha! 😆
• Also, I am loud. Find the cotton and shove it in your ears loud. My mom just told me tonight I have a pitch she thinks only dogs respond to. 😉 😆 I don’t think I am loud, but apparently, the general consensus is: LOUD.
• Lastly, I asked Jake “what is something random about me” b/c he is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS pointing out random things about me and laughing about it. I put him on the spot tonight and he says “I dunno” haha Then he smiles really big and says “your laugh.” I laugh from the depths of my belly and don’t hold back. It’s loud. Now that one I know. Why laugh if you aren’t going to give it your all???

And that’s about all the random I can think of at the moment. It’s probably more than I realize considering I have been interrupted about 3 or 4 times while typing this out and I couldn’t really remember how much I had previously done. haha! 

Feel free to add whatever you find “random” about me 😉

G’night Yaw. (someone tell Mandy I typed it right!   😆   )

I feel weird

So today we finished up getting the house ready for the movers/packers tomorrow (or today, considering it’s almost 1am). I was feeling really sad as I went from room to room to make sure I didn’t leave anything undone. I layed on the fatsak in the boys room and just looked around feeling all nostalgic. Jake found me in there and apparently I looked like I was going to cry b/c he started making fun of me. 😉

We finished making our family in this house. Dylan was younger than Owen when we moved in here. We had Aidan and Owen here.  We have lived in this house longer than we lived in our house in Missouri, and this house has many more memories thanks to the kids. I was feeling so sad thinking about leaving it behind, even though renting has been a huge headache thanks to our horrible landlord who I am happy to get out from under. 😯 That is probably the most exciting part about this whole thing. Anyway, as I was sitting there feeling all sad, I realized that as sad as it is to leave this house behind and all the memories in it, I am taking the people who made those memories along with me. We will still be a family in North Dakota. We will make new memories. A house is not my home, the people in it are my home. Wherever they are, will be my home. I need to remember that as the hard part of this process begins. It’s hard saying goodbye to our stuff too, trusting my stuff to complete strangers. That is hard. And yes, I know it’s “just stuff” but at some point, your household goods become a part of the family I think. I really do. They are a part of the memories. I’m not talking about the couch or entertainment center or television. Mostly for me, it’s the dressers, the beds, the clothes, the toys…that kind of stuff. I don’t know why but I love furniture like beds and dressers. All of our bedroom furniture has a story behind it…..of course EVERYTHING does, but pretty much everything was given to us as a gift or was handed down. I LOVE handed down furniture. It has “history” and meaning. Our bed, a California King, one we could NEVER afford on our own. My aunt and uncle gave that to us “just because.” I was so grateful for that bed!! I love a big bed. 😀 Our big dresser with the huge three way mirror, that was my moms. She’s had it for as long as I can remember and it’s beautiful. She just GAVE it us. Granted we swapped ours for hers, but we clearly got the better deal. I love that dresser. I remember when I was little thinking “I want a dresser like this when I get big” and thinking it was so beautiful. I love it. Aidan’s crib, the same aunt and uncle that gave us our bed gave us that crib too. It was Dylans crib first. They had bought it brand new to keep at their house for their grandson. He only used it a handful of times before he outgrew it. So, they gave it to us. I love that crib. Owen will move into it too when we get Aidan a twin bed. Dylan’s bed, it used to be my bed. It’s an old trundle bed and I absolutely love it. Before me it was my grandma’s. That is why I love it. The boys’ dressers…..one used to be my sisters and one used to be Jake’s when he was a BABY. Jake refinished/repainted them to match the colors in their room. Dark blue/light blue. I want to find some red knobs for it eventually. My dresser, well, it’s always been my dresser since I was little. And it’s beautiful as well. Owen’s crib, my granny bought that for us when I was pregnant with Aidan. It has teeth marks on the ends where Aidan bit it. Haha, that makes me laugh right now considering he is STILL a biter. 😆 I love his teeth marks on it. Right now Owen uses it but he will eventually go into Aidans crib since it is sturdier and plus I like the idea of all three of them using the same crib at some point in time.

The other furniture in our house, I am in no way attached to. It’s weird, b/c that is all stuff that we bought on our own, with our money, but I don’t feel attached to it at all. If I lost it all tomorrow I’d be fine. But touch any of our bedroom furniture, and I’d cry horribly. I’m such a sucker. 😉

Well friends, tomorrow the movers come at 8 a.m. That gives me a little over 6 hours to sleep, get ready, get the boys ready and fed, and get over to our house to supervise. *yawn* It’s gonna be a long day.

My Favorite Movie Ever

My brain and nerves, are fried…..

I’m just tellin’ you now, this post is going to be a bit of a whine session. I missed my appt with my counselor today and I have a strong urge to vent. Strong. Urge.

My brain feels completely FRIED and my nerves, they are shot. Completely shot. I can’t even think. Once in a while I get to a place where I literally cannot think. At all. At. All. Finally, I know what it’s like to be a man. 😉 Sorry to my male blogging friends that I love so dearly. 😆 It just makes me think of those times when I ask Jake “Whatchya thinkin’?” and he says “nothing” and I say “seriously how can you seriously think about nothing?” and he says “easy, don’t think.” For a person like me, that is insanity b/c I am always thinking about something. But every once in a while I literally “check out” and just cannot function. This is how I feel today. I have had waaaaaay too much sugar for one. We are not a “sweets in the house” family at all, so all of the Easter candy that the kids got from the grandparents….well…it’s burnin’ a hole on my kitchen counter so I’ve taken it upon myself to save said counter and snarf down the candy by the handfuls when I make a pass through the kitchen. It’s not been a pretty sight. A tasty one, but not pretty. Also, lately, we’ve not been eating very well at all. Embarrassingly, I have not really had the will to cook. I have cooked some, just not a lot. We’ve eaten a lot of take out and gone out to eat at various places. This has not been good on my tummy. Maybe why I thought I was pregnant. THAT was a scary thought and one that caused much stress as well. *sigh* No worries, I am not pregnant. It’s impossible, but sometimes, my body likes to trick my mind I think. Anyway……

The kids, I love’m dearly, but they have been driving us NUTS all day. Here is the scenario: Dylan, the almost 4 year old (next month) talks more than a teenage girl who’s had a lot of caffeine to drink. Seriously, this kid does NOT STOP talking ever. Blah blah blah blah blahhhhh all day long about nothing. Seriously nothing. And loud, this kid is LOUD. I have to take the blame for most of that though. He is loud by nature….or genetics. Take your pic. I am told, all the time, that I was the loudest kid anyone had ever met and that I talked nonstop. My family tells me this is payback in its finest form. 😆 I say I couldn’t POSSIBLY have been as loud as him. In return, I get glares that could burn a hole through your skull. haha! 😆 Apparently the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. 😉  Then there’s Aidan. Oh sweet Aidan…..or not. My baby, my sweet precious, mild mannered, quiet, gentle, loving, whispering, smiling, eye lash batting baby…..well, he is gone. He left the building when he turned two. And the child left in his place is getting louder, meaner, and down right stubborn. He is my biter. I cannot believe how much he BITES. We are at our wits end with his biting. 😦 And he has a temper, OOOOH does he have a temper. He has that head banging temper going on, with the scream that comes from deep down an comes out all scratchy like a cat. Sometimes I laugh at it b/c it is the most ridiculous primal scream ever, and well, it’s funny. Sometimes. And now for the baby, baby O as I like to call him. My poor baby O has reached the stage of the seperation anxiety. 😦 He cries when we leave the room, he cries when we turn our head away from him, he cries when we put him down, he cries when he’s forgotten we’re holding him…… you get the picture. Poor thing. Also, I think he is FINALLY cutting some bottom teeth. His poor gums felt swollen earlier and he is chomping on everything in sight. Plus, I think he is going through a growth spurt. He is taking longer naps and wanting to nurse more. His usual behavior during a growth spurt.

Okay, now that I’ve painted you a picture of where each kid is at developementally, picture all of these things going on AT THE SAME TIME ALL DAY LONG. That has been today. It has been insane!! Jake and I just stared at each other like “seriously? Is this seriously happening?” and remember, we are trying to get things ready to move. We are trying to load up the trailer and pack clothes and organize the entire house for the movers. We are officially moving out tonight. Jake will be at my grandma’s (where the trailer now currently is parked as of a few hours ago) tonight with the boys while I come back home and do more work. I am actually looking foward to being here alone with no one bothering me or running around throwing temper tantrums or following me around with a steady stream of preschooler commentary or crying when I go into the garage to do some laundry.

I love my kids. They are so extremely precious, and even on days like this where they literally fry my brain and my nerves, I still look at them and my heart warms just seeing them smile. I love to look at Aidan’s smiling face and see the freckles across his nose. And Dylan has eyes that dance when he is excited. And baby O, he has the best little smile where he scrunches up his nose, squints his eyes, and pants through a semi open mouth and throws his head back. Cracks me up everytime.

We have two full days left to get everything done, and doing it with kids underfoot is extremely hard. Especially when those poor babies KNOW there is something going on and at times like this, they want and need extra attention to feel safe and secure. I really want to make sure I still give them that, but it is really hard to not get frustrated at this point. Although, at this moment, Jake and I are sitting here cracking up b/c this is what we are listening to:

Dylan is singing “I went to the fair! With not anyone! I went to the fair! With not anyone! Rapunzel Rapunzel let down your hair! And the prince got dressed! And Rapunzel Rapunzel let down your hair!” He is really into singing right now. 😆 😉 hahahahaha!!!!

Okay, off to go get something probably not good for me to eat and drop Jake and the boys off at my grandma’s.

I’ll leave on this note….Aidan is now singing “Rapunzel Rapunzel let down your hair and go lay down!” while Dylan now has a walkie talkie and is running from room to room saying “hewo? is anyone there? Rapunzel Rapunzel turn it off!”

😆      😆     😆

Remembering Easter

Ramblings of reflective heart

WOW. I just read this post over at Our Apples Of Gold and was totally convicted. In a big way. Especially the part about what your kids fall asleep hearing. Mostly b/c I can’t tell you how many times that has happened in our house, the kids falling asleep to the sound of whatever we are watching on tv. While I don’t watch violent movies, Jake does, after the kids go to bed. But they can still hear it. Now, the whole post wasn’t about this at all. The whole post was about idolatry, but that part really stuck out to me. And several others. 😯

At first I thought it was a tad legalistic, but by the time I got to the end of it, I was really feeling convicted. We really need to challenge ourselves to see with godly eyes, and not try to justify things in our life. That is SO EASY to do. One I hear a lot is just what I said up there, “oh that sounds legalistic.” I struggle so much with that term, I hate it. Yes there is legalism in religion. In RELIGION. Not in a relationship with God. I feel that your relationship with God will determine what you find as legalistic. People think I teeter on the side of legalistic. My husband and I have this discussion a lot. He is more liberal than I am on some issues. I am more……. “legalistic” according to him. Some say I am black and white. (Hi T! LYS! ) That’s okay with me. I feel that God is black and white. I really do. I feel that there is clear right and wrong. In everything. It may not be easy to choose right, but it is clear according to God’s word. Actually, choosing the right thing to do is hardly ever easy. But I think that is where our love for Christ comes into play. That same love bridges the gap between those of us who disagree….believer and non believer alike.

Before I got married, I had a wandering eye. I was “boy crazy” my mother would say. I had a hard time not smiling at any cute guy that breathed. My thoughts were constantly on, “how do I look?” or “am I pleasing to EVERY EYE in the place?” Granted, a lot of that stems from other areas, but my point is that, when I got married, my love for Jake changed my perspective. “How do I look to him? Am I pleasing to his eye?” Now don’t get me wrong, I still like to look good. But Jake is ultimately on my mind. Except for when he says “just hurry up you look fine” as he yells down the hall while he is literally walking out the door. 😉   😆   Another thing that changed, I was less concerned with what other men thought of me. And I wasn’t trying to please them. It is easy for me to choose something that blesses my relationship with Jake. I do not smile flirtatiously at other men like I did before I was married. I save that for Jake. I guard my marriage, my relationship with him, by choosing right. Because I love him. And because He loves me. And because to do otherwise would be a sin against our relationship.

It’s the same with God. I love him. He loves me. And to do anything other than put Him first in my life, would be a sin against our relationship.

That’s all. I just felt like rambling a bit and that post got me going. haha! I wasn’t even going to post tonight…..I need to do our bills. *sigh* I loathe bills.

 Have a good weekend!! We’ll be busy buying a truck (hopefully…..also a long story) and getting things ready for the movers next week. Pray for my sanity!!! haha!! 😆