FINALLY!

Okay so I finally did my “about” page. Have at it. 😉

Funny Friday

Okay so once again I didn’t do a great job of remembering the funny stuff they said all week. I know there was some great stuff, I just can’t remember it enough to put here. More than anything lately they ACT funny as opposed to saying funny things. They are really into dancing right now. I love it. And Dylan is SUCH A SPAZ all the time. That kid has way too much energy. 😆

Something Aidan did this morning which some of you may laugh AT, something which I did NOT laugh at, was what he did behind our big chair in the living room. Remember what he did under my kitchen table a few weeks ago?? Yeah, THAT. He POOPED. This kid has an obssession with his pooping and peeing. Last night he wanted underwear so I let him and told him he needed to tell me if he had to go to the bathroom. Not five minutes later and he peed standing on the stool at the kitchen sink. Then this morning he had his diaper off for MAYBE two minutes before I heard “Mommy! Wook!” and I looked and it took me a minute b/c his poop looked JUST LIKE their fake hamburger for their kitchen set. And they have a fake meatloaf looking thing too. So I wasn’t sure, until I saw the brown carrot. Now I knew that was allllll wrong. That’s when the smell hit me. Thanks Aidan. Thanks a lot.  🙄  😆 I told him to go sit on the toilet while I cleaned it up. All I was thinking was how I wanted it gone QUICK. I should have dumped it in the toilet to show him where it goes but I didn’t. I bagged it up and tossed it out. EW. When I went to check on Aidan on the toilet…… he had gotten it all over the toilet. SERIOUSLY!!!! Where does the poopage end?! hahaha!

Ahhhh, what a great start to the day and weekend. I feel the need to steam clean my carpet now. Maybe we will just move out now. 😆

Jake comes home today. In fact, he is on his way home NOW. I didn’t think he was getting back until this evening but for some reason he is coming back now. He decided to not do his school visits in KFalls this morning which kind of annoys me b/c he stayed overnight there when he didn’t need to. He could have come home last night if he was going to skip out on his school visits today. :eyeroll: Oh well, at least I got a night out by myself b/c of it. Thanks to mom who came over and watched the boys. 😀 I went to the mall and browsed The Childrens Place. I got frustrated in there though and left with nothing. ugh. Then I went to Evangel and bought a ton of books. They had a clearance book bin that I went through. All $4.99. I loooove buying books. After that I went to Barnes N Noble and bought some more books for the kids. I got a really cool book for Aidan. It’s just like Dylans Kumon books only it’s dry erase so he can learn to draw lines and shapes and numbers in this book and it wipes clean. He can use it over and over again until he masters it. I am excited that he will have his own “workbook” while Dylan does his. My mom got Dylan those Kumon books for Christmas. He really likes them. He’s really good at them too. 😀

After Barnes N Noble I went to Walmart. I had no reason to go, I just went. haha. I figured I might as well go somewhere since I had a night w/o the kids. 😀 I bought a bunch of long sleeve T’s that were on sale ($5!) and some swishy pants. haha I call them that but they are those work out pants that swish when you walk. hahaha! 😆 Anyway, I got those, and then I also got the kids some art stuff, construction paper, crayons, stuff like that. I got a laminator too. 😯 I figure it will be a good way to keep some of their art stuff. The ones I REALLY want to keep I can laminate so they are preserved well. I toss most of their stuff but I always keep favorites. They do so much I can’t POSSIBLY keep it all.

Oh! I also got ANOTHER of my new favorite coffee drink last night. haha 😉 I got it iced though, instead of blended and it was NOT GOOD. I will be sticking with blended from now on. Fo Sho. 😆 The girl making it made me nervous too. If I start hacking up a lung soon I will know it’s b/c she sounded like she was DYING while she was making my drink. Totally grossed me out and I wanted to drive away w/o my drink right then, but I didn’t. I was not thrilled with her for sure. I need to ask my sister who that was working…..my sister works there too. 😉

Got home after all that and I chatted with Teresa online for a while and then went to bed around 1. I slept SO GOOD last night. Amazing consider all that is on my mind. I don’t think Owen even woke up at all and Dylan NEVER came into our room last night either. I slept goooood. 😀 That was probably the best sleep I have gotten in WEEKS.

Tonight Jake and the boys are going to the MONSTER TRUCK SHOW at the Expo. Dylan is SO EXCITED! He has been watching his monster trucks movie a lot this week to prepare for it. haha! I haven’t decided yet if I am going or not. 😦 I want to go to see them enjoy it, but at the same time I should let Jake do a guy thing with them. I can’t decide.

 Off to make the boys some hot chocolate and then it’s a nice shower for me! I stink. 😆 hahaha! 😉

My name is Brandy, and I have a shopping addiction. Sort of.

I shop when I am bothered or mad or stressed. It’s bad. Really bad. B/c I don’t go out to shop. I get online, and that’s bad. When I was pg it was REALLY bad. It always made me feel better and gave me something to look forward to. It’s my crack. I have not done it since I had Owen, but today, I shopped.

I bought some Bare Minerals makeup. I have ALWAYS wanted to try it, and today I thought “why not, I need a distraction.” That was bad. But, what’s done is done, and it will be here in 2-3 days. B/c of course I put a rush on it. Idiot. Me the idiot. Not you the reader. Me, the idiot. 😆

Thankful Thursday

I’m a bit late on this I know. And I know I missed Wordless Wednesday. I have a lot going on okay?! 😉 heehee

 Right now I am having a hard time finding something to be thankful for as I am kind of in the middle of some personal stuff. I need to be careful to not get caught up in being fake right now, b/c I tend to do that when I have an overload of stress. I don’t want people knowing what is going on with me b/c I just don’t want to say it outloud (that makes it real y/k? 😉 ), but I also need to be able to say “I’m not okay right now and that’s okay.” So, I’m not okay right now. Deal with it. 😆 I could have confided in B and T this morning when I took them the most AMAZING COFFEE DRINK ever to grace my tastebuds, but I didn’t. I wanted to, but I didn’t. It was too hard.

Anyway, I am starting to wander and I don’t want to wander. I just want to find something to be thankful for today.

Today I am thankful for my God. I am thankful that he never lets me down. That he loves like I am. That I am good enough for him. That I don’t have to be perfect for him. I am thankful God knows my name, my heart, my thoughts, my pains, my troubles, my everything. He knows more about me than I know. He knows what I need, what I don’t need, and everything in between. He knows how to help me, comfort me, counsel me, talk to me. He knows how to speak to my heart. He knows what troubles me when I don’t want to say it outloud. I can just cry and say “OH GOD” and he is with me in an instant. He is always with me, whether I acknowledge it or not.

 Today, and everyday, I am thankful for my God. Without whom I would be lost.

I just took a deep cleansing breath. The kind you take when someone hugs you tight. God said “it’s okay, I am here” and I heard him.

WARNING: Nasal TMI ahead!

Okay so Jake had my computer on his trip with him all day yesterday and today. I have it back now. Praise the Lord! 😀 😆 I felt lost without my computer. It was strange. Like I was missing a limb or something.

 Sunday morning I woke up with what I thought was an ingrown nose hair. It got worse as the day went on so I thought maybe it was a pimple. EW. Only this HURT. BADLY. By that night I was in some serious pain. I had to take 800mg Ibuprofen just to make a dent in the pain. Not to mention the tip of my nose was all red and inflamed and my left nostril was now deformed it was so swollen. Laugh, it’s okay. 😉 Yesterday morning I woke up and it was WORSE. I could not believe the pain. It hurt from the bridge of my nose, down to my lip, over to my left eye and across my cheek. Not to mention that the MASS had grown and was killing me with pain. Keep laughing. I know it’s funny. 😉 😆 My mom suggested calling the dr b/c “you know there IS such a thing as nose cancer right?” Thanks Mom. Love you. 😀 haha!

I called my dr and my conversation with the nurse went something like this:

Me: (nervously laughing) I was wondering if I could get in sometime soon. I’m having a nose problem.

Nurse: A nose problem? Oooookay.

(she proceeds to take my information, you know, name, birthdate, appt times, etc.)
Nurse: So what’s wrong with your nose? Do you have a cold or something? (I detected a little irritability there.)

Me: No, I don’t have a cold. I have a large MASS at the edge of my left nostril and my whole left side of my face hurts (thankyouverymuch)

Nurse: (sounding completely amazed and now intrigued) OOOOOOOOH, really?

Me: Yes. Really.

Nurse: Well okay then lets get you in.

Yes I was annoyed at the entire conversation.

So anyway, I go in today, Dr feels me up (my nose that is 😉 ) and then sits down to write a prescription. Doesn’t even tell me what is wrong. I ask. He says “well obviously you have an infection of some sort. These things usually start b/c of an ingrown hair. (EW again) Come back Thursday and if it’s not improved, I’ll need to see about sending you to a surgeon.” A SURGEON?!?! Great. Just great. He also says if it is WORSE tomorrow, I should go to the ER. Okay so now I am a tad paranoid. Are they going to LANCE my nose????? OUCH!!! And btw, the kind of pain I am having with this nose thing, is the kind of pain they have epidurals for. Seriously. It hurts that bad. I am on a steady stream of 800 mg ibuprofen. I didn’t even take that much ibuprofen after I had my babies.

Okay now, enough of that nasty talk. 😉 😛 😆

I have kind of enjoyed not having my computer. While I missed it a great deal, life went on. Amazing. 😉 Imagine that. 😯 These last few days I have kind of had a “lightbulb” moment. I feel lighter. Better. More “aware.” Less tired. Less mopey. Less less. I couldn’t figure out why I felt so much better and was PARTICIPATING in my own life again this last week or so. Then it hit me. I have now been on the higher dose of my antidepressant for about a month now, and it’s finally kicking in! It has really helped with the “down” of the depression, but my anxiety is still hanging on a bit. My counselor said it will take longer for the anxiety to go, but it will. STUPID STUPID four days I missed around New Years……sent me back to square one and I am just NOW getting out of that fog again. It’s so frustrating. I am glad though. Such a difference it makes. Depression is NOT about being sad all the time. It’s much more than that. I think I’ll do a post on that in a couple of days. I’ve been processing a lot about it these last few days and I think I want to get it all out in black and white. Not tonight though. Tonight we are ordering out for pizza. Yeah! I could live on pizza! 😀 And ibuprofen. 😉 Speaking of, my nose is throbbing again. I’m due for my fix. 😉

Mouthwatering Monday

Paaaaaaancaaaaakes!!!!!! 😀

My mom used to make pancakes for me every year on the first day of school. It was her “thing” that she liked to do for us. When I was little I always loved when she’d make me pancakes. I remember as I got older, highschool age, I told her one morning on the first day of school she didn’t have to do that anymore for me, that it wasn’t a big deal. I wish now that I hadn’t done that. It blessed her mommy heart to be able to do that for me I am sure. I don’t know how she felt about me saying that, or if she even remembers is. To be honest, I forgot about it until last night. I love pancakes. One of my favorite foods. Hot off the grill, melted butter all over each one, with warm maple syrup. YUMMMMMMMM. 😛 I make pancakes most mornings for the boys. About 5 of 7 mornings out of the week. Dylan LOVES peanut butter on his. So does Aidan. Me, not so much. It’s hard to cut them up with sticky peanut butter all over them. I LOVE mashed bananas in mine. The kids, not so much. We have found common ground with apple pie filling from the bakery. 😀 haha! The boys LOVE LOVE LOVE pancakes. Dylan, who will be 4 in May, can eat 3-4 pancakes on a given day. And I make ’em BIG. He’s like his mommy, the more the better! Aidan likes them too, but he never eats as many as Dylan. I LOVE when I come to the table with my HUGE stack of pancakes and the looks on their faces is priceless! 😯 “MOMMY! You’re going to eat ALL of that?!”

Our pancakes:

Wheat and Honey Krusteez pancake mix

Melt peanut butter in microwave, mix in (I do this now instead of globbing it on top, not sticky this way! 😉 )

I make them about 5 inches in diameter, bigger for me and Jake though. 😉

Butter ’em up

Pour the syrup on (Mrs Butterworths Sugar Free of course 😉 )

VIOLA! Easiest breakfast EVER!

Speaking of, I need to get on the ball here……..

A little of this, a little of that

Not much going on here. Still a bit sick, but for the most part feeling better. The cough seems to be hanging on the worst for all of us. The kiddos still have a nasty runny nose, but luckily the color has changed. YUM. Don’t you just LOVE knowing that? 😉 😆 Poor Jake is just now getting the brunt of it. 😦 He can’t see a doctor here anymore either b/c he got put back on PRP (personal reliability program) so he can ONLY see a military doctor now. He goes to McChord tomorrow to take his Technical Sergeant test so he will see a doctor while he is there. Pretty sure his is now a sinus infection. 😦 Poor guy. I feel bad for him. Especially since we are busy cleaning this weekend. No rest for the weary.

Last night Dylan went home with my aunt and uncle and Aidan was going to stay at my moms so we only would have had Owen. We decided to go out to dinner so I called my mom to see if her and Aidan wanted to go. So, we all went out. It was kind of nice just hanging out with my mom and my little fam. 🙂 I did miss Dylan though, but I knew he was having fun at my aunt and uncles since McKenna (my niece) went too. 😉 We went really early so we had the rest of the night to come home and relax and finish up some stuff. We still have quite the list today though to do. I am glad we are getting a lot done. It feels good to not have to worry about it, as long as we can keep it maintained and not accumulate more stuff before we move.

One thing I noticed yesterday, Owen does NOT like when his brothers are gone. AT ALL. He cried all day and was fussy and to be honest, a tad annoying. 😆 haha! He just wanted attention, poor guy. When Aidan came home (we decided to just bring him home afterall) Owen was as happy as could be!! He LOVES his big brothers. 😀

My internet is wonky too. We use ClearWire, you just plug it into the wall and you get a wireless connection, and I let my aunt take it for a few days. She’s visiting and staying with my grandma (around the corner 😆 ) and doesn’t have internet over there. Anyway, she has our clearwire so I’ve been w/o internet. I just find a hotspot in our house every once in a while and it is VERY short lived, so I’ve just been checking stuff when I can. To be honest, it’s been kinda nice. Although I do miss checking everything at once and leaving a complete comment. haha! This has been the longest connection I’ve had in days! (knock on wood!)

 Off to tackle our long list!

-finish laundry

-finish organizing kitchen

-bathrooms

-Owen’s room

-BILLS BILLS BILLS

-groceries (maybe)

-living room

-garage

WHEW!

Not so funny Friday

Well I don’t have much to report for Funny Friday. 😦 This week we’ve all been sick and literally just laying around. The kids are very cranky, and quite honestly, so is mommy. 😉

 The newest thing this week though is that Dylan has developed his own language of sorts. He whispers to us “I have a secret for you. Tell mommy/daddy (depends on which one of us he is talking to) that they are a ______” and he says the most odd things. “whackytooerwomp” or “bumpywonkerpants” hahaha! Okay so that has been pretty funny. He is making up all kinds of words like that and Jake and I think it’s hilarious. 😆

There has been a fair amount of dancing this week too. 😉 I was feeling guilty about all the movies they were watching (remember, we are sick and laying around) so I would make sure the TV was off for a period of time with music on and they’d dance around the living room. Obviously they were feeling a bit better than me, b/c I just sat and watched. I love to watch them be creative and dance around. So cute.

 Owen is STILL not interested in eating food. 😦 He screams his little head off to the point of hysteria and then is so upset he can’t hardly be consoled. 😦 I give up. I don’t know what to do about the food. Last night though, we had steak with mashed potatoes, cooked carrots, corn and green beans. I gave O everything but the steak and he mashed it around on his tray. He did manage to put some of it in his mouth, but he wasn’t too happy with it. He spit it right back out. Is that progress? I don’t know. All I know is he is almost 8 months old and NOT eating solids yet. *sigh*

Tomorrow my wonderful mom is taking all THREE boys for the day so Jake and I can get some stuff done for the move. The garage is only halfway done and we still have a lot of boxes of stuff to take to goodwill. And toys….TOYS we have so many toys we are getting rid of but goodwill won’t don’t take them. They stopped taking toys when all the toy recalls happened. So I have a ton of toys to find a home for. 😦 And maternity clothes. Oh do I ever have maternity clothes. Since August 2003, I have been pregnant 27 months total. I have hit every season there is. You name it, I have it. And in every size too. Lots to go through. *sigh*

Well I think that’s enough babble today. I have my nieces today so it’s a full house around here. Plus, I’m pretty sure the boys are OUT of clothes to wear. 😉 Yes, I need to do laundry.

Hope everyone has a great weekend and stays away from the sickies.

Oh and Ed, I’m watching you. 😯 😉

Thankful Thursday

TECHNICALLY it’s already Thursday (12:19am) and I can’t get on tomorrow so I’m doing it now. I didn’t want to skip this one, I’ve kinda been looking forward to it. 😀

Tonight I was staring at Owen thinking about how fast he is growing and how he’s not my little newborn anymore. 😦 How I miss the newborn!! With Dylan everything was so new and exciting, and nerve wracking b/c I was so unsure of myself. It went really fast (as they all do) but I remember every single second of it. I really do, it’s so weird how your brain can retain that kind of stuff, little tiny details. With Aidan, everything was very smooth. I was not as uptight, it was no longer new, it was comfortable. What I loved about Aidan was that it was something I had done before so I could relax and enjoy him more. Plus, Aidan was the easiest baby anyone could ever have. SO. EASY. With Owen, you’d think I’d be so laid back I’d be letting the kid raise himself at this point. NOT. Instead, my reins are pulled tighter, almost tighter than with Dylan. He is my last baby. My last newborn. My last to watch the “firsts” of. First time sitting up, first time rolling over, first time eating (well, actually, I’m not doing so well in the feeding him solid foods department just yet :wink:) first steps. All those firsts. Tonight he was playing on the floor and I was just thinking, “when did you gain so much knowledge? When did you learn to do that? How do you know to pick up that toy? How do you know that that toy is pick-up-able?” (okay, sooo not a word, but this is my blog and I’ll use non words if I want to :wink:). I went to sleep last night and he was brand spankin’ new. I woke up this morning and he was big and crawling and playing by himself and babbling and laughing. Time goes so fast. It makes me sad to think that he is my last one. Part of me regrets that we made that choice a permanent choice. But there is the part of me that knows I should NOT have more b/c of the depression I suffered when I was first pregnant with Owen. I won’t do that to my family again.

I am so thankful for my little family. I look at them and think about our move. How much I am going to miss my extended family and Jake’s family. And then I look at the boys and at Jake and think “we get to move together, they are coming with me” and while that thought makes no sense to anyone else, to me it means everything. I love them more than anything and no matter what, we will all be together.

Love is a funny thing. I love my mom and sister and granny all so very much. It is going to be hard to be away from them b/c they are such a HUGE part of my life. But my love for them is different, I can love them and be okay away from them. My love for my boys and Jake, it’s the best. There is no way I could ever be away from them, ever. I am so lucky that I get to go on this adventure to a new place with them. They are my home away from home. No matter where we live, they are my home.

I am so thankful that God gave me my dream of having a family. I don’t know what I did to deserve it, but he gave it to me. I remember when I was 15, I had this boyfriend and I remember telling him that all I really wanted to do was to have a family and be a mom and take care of them. That’s it. I never really told people that growing up b/c you were supposed to be thinking about a JOB or CAREER, not getting married and “depending on a man” to take care of you. And kids, well kids are a burden don’t ya know? Oh no, I think North Dakota slang just crept into my blog!!!! 😯 😆

I think I wandered a lot in this post, but all of it is to say that I am so incredibly thankful for my boys. I look at them and life makes sense. I make sense. It’s hard for me right now to realize that one day they will have their own lives and I won’t be needed anymore. But isn’t that the goal? 😉 I need to cherish the time I have with them now, and…..be ever so thankful for them. I don’t know why God gave me boys, but for some reason he knew I’d be the best mommy for them. That puzzles me everyday, but I am so grateful for it. I’m still trying to figure out how to be the mom they need and deserve, but in the meantime, I’m content to just stare into their little faces and thank God for my precious babies. 😀 Amen. 😉

Wordless Wednesday Overload

I know this is supposed to be “wordless” but I have to explain a bit. The girls are my neices (McKenna and Naomi) and the man at the bottom is my grandpa. Those are pics of Aidan and Dylan with him Thanksgiving 06. Also, I haven’t QUITE figured out the picture resizing thing yet, so please, forgive the sloppyness.